Think about that for a moment. "I'm paranoid about breastfeeding my baby."
Of course, she has The Eye coming out in a week, so saying something nonsensical to the press, knowing they'll report on it, is a tried and true way to generate buzz in Hollywood. As long as they spell your name right it's all good.But what if she's really that dense?
A better question: What if she's not? What if she actually is paranoid about breastfeeding?
Jessica Alba believes that a tiny, pink paparazzo will switch places with her newborn child just to get a picture of her bare teats! She's not confident in her ability to distinguish her own baby from an unshaven Hungarian midget with a Nikon hoping for the money shot of a lifetime!
Rob Schneider, I have just handed you your next premise. Go and do.
Meanwhile, in personal news, this is a short list of my current state of mind:
- I am delusional concerning my unbalanced breakfast
- I am mentally retarded over my coming IRS audit
- I am ecstatic in thoughts of my penile reduction surgery
Jessica Alba in The Eye, wearing the same contacts she wore in the Fantastic Four movies
6 comments:
Don't they say babies are born knowing everything? Maybe she should be paranoid.
Ex: I apologize for writing about baby stuff after reading your tearful confession about your biological clock. I don't mean to cause you further distress with this post. I just had nothing else today and celebrities are easy targets.
I never know when you're being sarcastic. God damn internets.
By the way, I don't want to say you did it but you did it.
Ex: Assume everything I say on this blog is sarcastic and facetious. I am rarely serious.
That being said, you're a bitch for bringing up Ebert again.
Harsh but hey, I'm not the one who tried to kill him with bad press.
Gah.
Post a Comment