Meme, Myself, and I

I feel like a pretty girl at a high school mixer.

I was drinking punch with my friends, and this red-faced little dweeb approached and asked me to dance. That's what it's like when you're tagged for a meme. I'm a pretty girl. McGone's the dweeb. But I'll dance with him out of courtesy because I'm not stuck-up.

If he gropes me, though, I'm calling a chaperone.

1. Voted Most Likely to:
Never talk to women. Sort of. I was nicknamed "Bashful" under a "Seven Dwarfs" theme in one yearbook. Better than the potato-nosed guy chosen as "Dopey" who took it as a personal insult and didn't want to talk about it.

2. Regrets:
I've been fired for undeniably stupid reasons that aren't fun to explain. I don't have any cool stories that end with, "I threw hot coffee in his face and said, 'You can't fire me, motherfucker--'cuz I quit!'" Also, I've never commanded an army of trained animals to kill an ex-boss after work hours.


3. It’s a Monday, you are tired and don’t feel like working, so you:
Masturbate.*

4. You would prefer to have dinner with:
Andre.

5. If you were going bald, you would:
Curse my father. Slap my mother. Prepare for a delicate talk with my son.

6. You lay awake at night, pondering:
Where Dopey is now, did he ever nail Snow White, and is he still angry at me for laughing at his nickname.

7. If you were forced to share a cubicle, the most important thing you look for is:
A willingness to give back rubs and the nerve to continue doing so when the boss approaches. I like the idea of forcing management to say, "Giving back rubs in the workplace is not appropriate behavior."


8. What is most likely to be found in the trunk of your car:
Nothing, officer. No, I hadn't heard my ex-boss is missing and feared dead. In the backseat? Those are just my ferrets. I'd say about 200, give or take. What's on their faces and paws? Oh, they just got into the ketchup.

9. Favorite Spinal tap movie moment:
The leprechauns' choreography around Stonehenge.


10. Based on your work history, the job you SHOULD HAVE right now is:
Probably a full-time dreamer. (See, now you've got me quoting Tap.)

11. Your imaginary band name is:
Either Dick Cheney's Smile or Jerry McTaint and the Testicles.

I don't tag anyone for this meme. I'm taking Marni's approach: if you feel like running with it, be my guest. 2008 is the year of casualness and no meme commitments. I did this one for two reasons: 1) To continue my ongoing streak of a post a day, and 2) McGone mentioned Carson Daly in a negative light in his meme, which is a specific tag of mine here on The Block. That's what I like about McGone. We're like this: [silently pointing two fingers back and forth between myself and McGone, indicating we're cut from the same cloth].

* I'll take any excuse to use this word. It looks funny in print and it's funnier when said aloud.