The show's premise was an American family was flown overseas to spend a night investigating a haunted castle. Upon arrival, they were greeted at a campfire by an ultra-serious, red-headed Brit dressed in black. His name was Alan Robson, and he was more frightening than anything found in any castle.
Sure, each episode was thick with eerie atmosphere--featuring over-the-top narration by the frightening little lady from Poltergeist--but Robson served as the show's (un)reality check. He bitch-slapped non-believers with his stone-cold seriousness about the whole experience.
"This is no laughin' matter," he would snap in his thick brogue at a young black man blowing off tension by giggling. "D' ye think somethin's funny about this situation ye're in tonight? People have died in McFrightenham Tower, Sonny Jim!"
The camera would close in on his pale face; his beady eyes shooting daggers at the entire family for the kid's indiscretion. "This is no' a matter t' be taken lightly. Restless souls prowl the hallways of these curs-ed grounds! D' ye no' understan'?"
Alan Robson wanted you to know that ghosts exist, damn it! He needed you to believe it before you strapped on the infrared camera pointed up your flaring nostrils. You shouldn't have come here from the Colonies, Yankee, if you didn't have an open mind to the possibility of invisible, angry spirits that tripped and broke their neck in a previous life and never got over it!
I always waited for what I called his TWTY bomb: If this wee little man in his wee little leather jacket wanted to lay down some serious mojo--if you insisted on appearing doubtful--he would practically stamp his feet like Rumplestiltskin and let loose with, "Things will touch you!"
Nothing ever touched anyone, but my God, it was still an entertaining show. I wish ABC Family produced it more than once a year these days.
1 comment:
Alan robson is a geordie, not scottish! No way does he sound like that, we don't say no'!
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