I took part in a talent show last spring, and among the lamer acts that night, one guy decided he would do a dramatic reading of General Patton's speech from the beginning of that movie. Aside from the fact "Patton" wore Reeboks, the timing of the message was confusing at best (i.e. it may have gone over six years ago, but at the time it just felt...off).
The awkwardness as it unfolded was palpable.
I watched M. Night Shyamalan's movie The Happening on DVD, and I wondered how it ever got produced.Who keeps greenlighting that guy's movies? Why didn't they stop after Unbreakable? His plots and dialogue are so horrible you can't help but laugh out loud.
I love the movie Juno, but one complaint I've heard is how "no one talks like that." That's the point, though. We go to movies to be entertained and I don't want to hear how people really talk. It'd be weak.
But when M. Night puts words in his characters' mouths, they say things like, "Cheese and crackers!" (This was a soldier expressing disbelief). Or you get Mark Wahlberg talking to a potted plant and saying, directly into the camera with his eyes wide, "I'm talking to a plant." (Long, comedic pause.) "I'm still doing it."
Hilarity.
That's the other thing, if you're trying to sell such bad dialogue, get someone who can actually act. Wahlberg always looks like he's attempting to act but knows full well it's not going smoothly.
(I couldn't keep from laughing every time Wahlberg's character tried to be serious, because of Andy Samberg's impression of him. Every time he talked to Zooey Deschanel I pictured him saying, "Hey, Zooey, I produce Entourage. Someday you'll be cool. Say hi to your mother for me.")
Shyamalan has been making unintentional comedies for years now.
Maybe he should remake Patton next. If he can get it greenlit.
6 comments:
Oh man, if Rerun attacking the planet was the twist I would buy this DVD.
Anything with Rerun in it should get greenlit, no questions asked.
I know it might not fit with your pun on What's Happening, but please continue to inject Rerun in movie posters.
I AM DEPENDING ON YOU.
so I should remove this from my Netflix queue?
I got a deep discount dvd of this movie..i thought it was cool as far as i'm thinking of but just got confused and stated to think what's behind the chemical reactions of plants that causes the people to kill themselves.. it think the movie was so short to finished it up that way..
McG - "Rerun"? Is that the name of that guy? I didn't get the joke.
MJenks - I guess I should look into renting this Rerun show.
Splotchy - That's all Rider. I'm not gifted in the ways of Photoshop Fu. He still provides the doctored jpegs here (when he has time).
Mind - It should be watched by everyone, just for the laughs.
Eric - I speak for Minddiarrhea when I say, "Thanks for the spoiler warning."
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