8.17.2008

Phelps Blog Reaction #865,000

I didn't want to write about Michael Phelps' eighth gold medal win in the Beijing Summer Olympics, but I've been told I have to.

Dear Mr. Rider,

Please be advised that Blogger's Terms of Service (specifically, section 8.6's "Content in the Services") indicates the following:
"You agree that you will blog about matters of national pride as exemplified by athletes, politicians, celebrities, etc., etc...up to and including prop comedians. Failure to do so may result in deletion of your blog."

We here at Blogger have noticed it has been 12 hours since U.S. swimmer Michael Phelps set a new world record, yet you have failed to post any content related to your feelings regarding his achievement.

We do not want to delete your blog. It is mildly amusing and fills a niche among popular culture blogs written by folks with differently-shaped heads made of wood.

If I may suggest a topic: speculate on the size of Phelps' "johnson." But do it from a heterosexual male's perspective. We here at Blogger love the dick jokes.

Get with the program or join the jamokes over at Wordpress.

Best Wishes, Phineas T. Blogspot
Founder and CEO of Blogger
Alright, already...but let the record show I'm writing this under duress.

I was watching last night's relay race, but only because Mrs. Rider didn't want to watch Ruins with me. (Apparently "horror" movies make her "scared" and she doesn't like feelings of "dread.")

I'll say this: it was pretty cool watching history being made.

Michael Phelps represented his country on the world stage, kicked ass, and instilled feelings of American pride that we'll all be talking about for years to come.

It's Wheaties boxes and Speedo endorsement deals for Phelps from here on out. In 30 years he'll have replaced Chuck Norris as a pitchman for exercise equipment. And good for him; he deserves it.

The truth is, I appreciate him for no other reason than we've needed someone to rally behind for the last seven years.

I hope this fulfills my obligation.

Side note: As cool as Phelps' win was, I actually had more of a patriotic reaction from this comic book page. Keep in mind it came out around 2002.

4 comments:

McGone said...

I loved the blogspot letter... right up until I made a fatal mistake. Now my eyes are burning. Damn you, Rider. Damn you.

Dr Zibbs said...

I love the comic book page. Nice. And thanks for posting a picture of the walrus. They're rarely featured.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

The important thing about the walrus and Spitz, ca. 1972, is that they're both rocking the pornstache.

mrs. rider said...

I don't like feelings of "dread?" I married you, didn't I?

I can embellish just as well as you can...