8.07.2008

Oh, Smitty, You Will Scream Like a Bitch!

I'm going to rush through this post, but there's a good reason: I need your suggestions and time is short.

I watch a lot of TV. Some might say too much. From Friends reruns to zombie movies to my afternoon telenovelas, I'm viewing satellite goodness 23 hours a day.

I have a 137.9" Samsung DLP, pictured here next to a one-armed midget wrestler.


It turns out the average life of a DLP lamp is 5,000 hours.

I burned that puppy to a smoking cinder after only 18 months.

Fortunately I had purchased a service plan from a certain Big Box electronics retailer, so I called the 888 line for a service call. The repair guy is on his way to the Block as I type this.

I want to play a joke on him. Here's where I need your help.

I want to put something in the TV's service hatch to shock or startle the unsuspecting repairman.

Imagine the look of surprise when "Smitty"--as I will repeatedly call him even after he offers his real name--unscrews the plastic door and sees...

...What?

What should I stick in the compartment?

Here are the items I'm considering.


A tin foil robot, a can of Green Giant Niblets, a half-eaten Peep, and a live gecko.

I'm not sure if I want to go with humor or sheer terror--what if Smitty has a grabber? I don't own a shovel and, besides, the neighbors would see me digging the hole.

Please offer your suggestions in the comments. Do it quick! He'll be here between 11 and 1!

Update: I went with a block of C-4. Smitty will be missed.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

i would go with the half eaten peep. Would probably be more funny than anything else.

but, I wonder if he will think that is what caused the problem, thus voiding your service plan?

McGone said...

What's up with your stupid neighbors not having jobs during the day? Can't a guy bury a body without someone sticking their nose in the situation?

Anonymous said...

well, what did you put in there?

Falwless said...

hahahahahaha

Falwless said...

I'm gonna go with the live gecko.

Dr Zibbs said...

Nice post and I love the robot. May I suggest a few suprises for Smitty:
1) The midget (although you might need help getting his huge noggin in.
2) A handful of pubes (He'll think you're a perv).
3) Tell him there's something REALLY far in the back. When he gets his head really far in, push him in and shut the door like the scene on Silence of the Lambs.(Important: Don't have Tom Petty's, "American Girl" playing or he may get suspicious).

MJenks said...

I'm going with some beans or black eyed peas, some nescafe and ice, a candy bar, a falling star, or a reading from Dr. Seuss.

Call me when you try to wake her up.

Dr Zibbs said...

I was thinking about this bizarre post all day. I just gave it a thumbs up on Stumble Upon. You're welcome.