Creepy Fun for 47 Seconds

Quick, look at the clock on the wall. When the red second hand hits the 12, click this link and have fun. I enjoyed myself for less than a minute. But I'll admit I was creeped out the entire time.

Note: Completely safe for work. It's even safe for kids. No fat male nudity (I promise). You'll need a mouse and cursor for the full effect, so don't even try with a BlackBerry or smartphone. For more on this page, check out Boing Boing.

Time to Put a Name to a Face

The last time I felt like shining a spotlight on an actor in a sitcom, it was the dude who plays "Kenneth" on 30 Rock (different blog). I always crack up between the moment he appears on camera and the moment he delivers his first line.

Now there's another guy who provokes a similar reaction, and I didn't realize it until this week: it's the actor who plays "Sheldon" on CBS' Big Bang Theory.

If you haven't watched it--or if you tried it early and bailed--go back and give it another chance. It's worth it to watch Sheldon as the ultimate straight man. He's so straight he makes Niles Crain look like McConaughey wired on cat piss (new South Park, anyone?).

This week's episode featured a lie spinning out of control when Sheldon feels compelled to strengthen a flimsy white one with sandbag after sandbag of reinforcements. It was one of the funniest shows I've seen all year.

Check out Jim Parsons as Sheldon. He'll make you want to watch Garden State again to spot him.

New Diversions on the Block

I may not have posted my unanswered questions to last week's Lost yet, but I've still got my finger on the pulse of pop culture. Here's what I was up to today, beginning at 6:00 AM.

• Finished the first four episodes of Battlestar Galactica's third season. After the jarring (and clumsy) new status quo of the previous season's finale, it now looks like the producers have patched some holes, teased upcoming conflicts, and sent Adama's ship back on its journey to ultimate hardcore-ness.* I should finish the entire season just in time for new episodes to begin airing on Sci Fi. Then I'll have to wait from week to week like any other schmuck.
• Marvel Comics has its very own fly-in-the-ointment/John McClane running around the office, dishing dirt on lame editorial decisions. His name is Marvel_B0y, and while there's a possibility he's the fictional creation of the marketing department designed to generate some buzz, I prefer to believe a punk kid has the brass balls to pull aside the curtain and reveal the soft underbelly of the Marvel offices. Unfortunately, this guy thinks he's Teflon and can't possibly be fired--which, speaking from experience, is a dangerous mindset for any blogger to adopt. It's a riveting read, especially for me. But the longer it goes on, the more I'll believe I've been had.
• I started watching Top Chef on Bravo earlier this month, but not because I wanted to see contestants with faux-hawks and tattoos crying on camera. I watched to see my buddy Dean in the block party episode. Tonight he appeared onscreen about three times. He shares his journal from the day it was filmed over here.

* Hardcore-osity?

I Can Neither Confirm Nor Deny

As regular readers of my blog know, I have a wooden block for a head. It gives the title an excellent double meaning and it puts a little steam in my stride for thinking of it. New readers either accept it or they don't and move on with their Google searches for "Beowulf" or "Hot Rod." *

If I had a human head, though, it would look much like the handsome one sitting atop the South Park-generated avatar to the left.

I can't confirm the human head, however, since I see a block with drawn-on glasses and a smirk when I look in the mirror.

The keen eyes of regular readers will also notice a new addition to my blogroll. Just as Lennon had McCartney; and just as McGone has two pink, hairless friends named Slinger and Bakonstein; I've got Dean Xene.

I encourage you to check out the exploits of my gifted pal since the 8th grade in his new blog. He's a family man, a master of kung fu, and one hell of an architect. Check out his sketchbook/journal on Flickr and see the kind of impressive stuff he's been showing me since college.

Oh, and Dean has a tendency to refer to me as "Al Damage." I'm not sure where he gets that. It sounds like some weak, pre-blogosphere attempt at a cyber nom de plume, circa 2000.

Remember: my actual name, as far as you know, is "Eric Rider." I'm an unemployed writer with a wooden block for a head. I'm not a real boy.

* Which are both, inexplicably, drawing a daily visitor total of 30 hits a day.

Netflix: The Waiting Is the Hardest Part

Fours months.

I added Live Free or Die Hard to the top of my Netflix queue on November 19--the day before its release on Blu-ray.

It arrived in the mail friggin' yesterday.

During that time period, 51 other titles were shipped instead of the Bruce Willis/Mac Guy extravaganza I'd been waiting for so patiently.

You don't understand.

While I sat here with my thumb up my ass waiting for Netflix to get their shit together, Led Zeppelin reunited, 89 MLB players were accused of using steroids, Queen Elizabeth II became the oldest living monarch of the U.K., Evel Knievel died of non-stunt causes, the price of oil hit $100 a barrel, snow fell in Mexico, Iran launched a rocket into space, and HD DVD officially joined Betamax as a commercially unsuccessful video format.

I find it awfully convenient that the movie arrived exactly a third of a year after I added it.

Does Netflix have a four-month waiting policy on new movies that we don't know about? I know they recently changed their site to make it damned harder for subscribers to search for new releases, which was bad enough.

I'll be waiting for 3:10 to Yuma till summer, at this rate.

My love/hate relationship with Netflix continues.

At One With the Stars

Science fiction legend Arthur C. Clarke has moved on into the universe.

Update: Here's his last interview.

Happy St. Patty's Day

Sure, some people are more into it than others, like Captain Ireland (see McGone's list of the top ten redheads today), but we're all Irish today, right? Even Muppets who aren't capable of singing the lyrics to "Danny Boy."

Horton Is Eight Years Too Late

Let me get this straight: in Horton Hears a Who!, Jim Carrey provides the voice of a savior elephant who protects the tiny Seussian town of Whoville from impending danger.

But where was Horton in 2000 and 2003 when he should have been there to save the Whos and all of Theodor Geisel's magical creations from himself and Mike Myers?


It's a miracle this movie got made at all following those criminal offenses against perfect childhood memories.

Unanswered Questions from Lost 4.6/4.7

I played hooky last time, so here's my speed-round on 4.6: Juliet pursed her lips more than any ten previous appearances combined, Ben made me laugh many times (once with the quote, "This didn't have a number on it, did it?" and then by simply traipsing into a cabin carrying linens 'n things), and I was forced into saying a magazine title when I said, "Harper's bizarre."

Week-old questions:

• Who but Juliet has ever been able to state, "I had an affair with Goodwin Stanhope"? We're drifting dangerously close to daytime drama territory with names like that, aren't we?
• Who else thought dead Goodwin was going to open his eyes? *Raising my hand and peering out into the blogosphere*
  
• How much scarier is Ben when he acts like a lovesick puppy? Next he'll be pulling pigtails and pushing girls in the playground mud. "You're mine," indeed.
  

Tonight's episode was designed to play to viewers' expectations that Sun and Jin always share a backup story. I caught the twist early--I'm getting that good. We also saw the return of darling Nikki (on Korean TV), another guest star was bumped off as quickly as she appeared (Zoe Bell performing her own stunt, one assumes), and we find out which major character actually dies at age 30 (per a tombstone). And who didn't call the identity of Ben's spy on the ship months ago?

Current questions:

• Was Jin the victim of an elaborate grift perpetrated by the manufacturers of stuffed animals and cell phones?
• How much funnier would it have been if the whole delivery room was full of pandas?
• How much less funny would it have been if Bernard had backpedaled further on his same-sex-marriage freak-out by saying, "Not that there's anything wrong with that?" (Admit it, you thought he'd say it.)
• Did Sayid and Desmond really need a note to warn them not to trust a guy named Captain Gault? Thanks, "Kevin Johnson." They could have searched Wikipedia like the rest of us.
  

Cubs in Oh-Eight? Squeeeeal!

What the hell, just let anybody with enough money and fame play major league baseball.

Hell, I'd like to see Ned Beatty playing shortstop for the Cubs. It couldn't hurt. I just wanna see him bend over for a grounder and have the color commentator use a Deliverance reference.

What other celebrities should be allowed to play professional sports? Your answers are welcome in the comments.

How I Met Your Dying Career

CBS can't buy publicity like this.

She-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named* will be appearing on an episode of How I Met Your Mother in a few weeks. As a fan of the show but not the guest star, I'm sorta pissed about this development. She will taint** the comedy and draw attention away from the regular cast (except, perhaps, for Neil Patrick Harris as "Barney").

I dread the applause she'll get when she walks on. I have no doubt it's being written into her contract. I will be making the universal jerking off motion and rolling my eyes when it happens.

Additional controversy was reported when Alicia Silverstone bowed out of the show when she heard who would be stealing her limelight in the same episode. You know your star is fading when an "actress" known for exactly one good movie doesn't want to appear in the same 22 minutes as you. Replacing her will be Sarah Chalke from Scrubs, so at least the producers traded up in talent.

I see the move as necessary evil. The show needs the publicity at this point. How else will they ensure they're picked up for another season? It's worth it.


* Official Rider's Block bylaws state that "once a celebrity has bottomed-out he/she shall not be named within the context of any and all posts so as not to contribute to any future chance of regaining celebrity status." For more, please read the Rider's Block Charter.

** This is the perfect word, McGone. Don't riff on it.

Take Two Podcasts and Call Me in the Morning

The hellish virus I caught after partying too hard at my dual Raul Castro election/Academy Awards party is still having its way with me. It's a persistent little bugger, but I'm finally gaining the upper hand. I hope to be back to quality pop culture commentary soon.

With all your disposable time, consider checking out these podcasts I listen to and recommend.


1. Comic Geek Speak: Two to eight friends in Reading, Pennsylvania who have been regularly discussing comics for 400 shows. Three new episodes a week.

2. KCRW's The Treatment: Weekly cinema interview show from Santa Monica, featuring an insightful host named Elvis who fulfills NPR's quota of saying "sort of" every other sentence he utters.

3. Mac OS Ken: I am an Apple user and I get my daily Mac news from a rockin' dude named Ken Ray in the San Francisco Bay area.

4. The Official LOST podcast: I don't bother with the shows cobbled together by fans. I get answers right from producers Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof. Episodes are usually posted the day after a new TV installment airs, and questions from viewers are answered with humor.

5. The Onion Radio News: One-minute satirical news stories that make me laugh out loud. Listen to 'em five at a time.

6. Quiet! Panelologists At Work: Two blokes from across the pond making fun of mainstream comic books in thick accents that may confuse the average Yank listener. You're lucky to get one new show a month, but it's worth the wait.

7. The Ricky Gervais Show: The show started out free, now you have to pay for it. I buy 'em by the complete season. Don't listen if you don't appreciate Gervais' laughter.

8. This American Life: New episodes are available the day after they air on NPR, and they're free for the week. When will the Showtime series be available on Netflix? Borders has been selling it for months.

9. This Week in Tech: I get my weekly dose of tech news and speculation from Leo Laporte and his rotating panel of geeks.

10. USA Today's Pop Candy: I read Whitney's blog and also listen to her in this weekly interview/new music show.

11. X-Play's Daily Video Podcast: Video games cost too damn much to just buy without listening to someone's opinion on new releases. I enjoy Adam and Morgan's humorous reviews from their daily show on G4.

Done in 400

Back in January I wrote about how I was done buying Spider-Man comics, and I stand by my decision.

Well, the last few issues that I pre-ordered before my decision have arrived in my monthly shipment of books this week.

I thought it was interesting to note that the final issue is numbered 551. Considering the first issue in my collection began with 151, I take it as a sign that I'm getting out at the right point.


Now I start checking sales on this title to see if I'm alone in my boycott.

U2 3D: How's It Compare to a Zombie Flick?™

U2 3D featured:

• An astoundingly crisp 3D experience
• Inspiring performances by true rock masters
• Heavy-handed political rants were kept to a minimum--which aided in a surprisingly high Rotten Tomatoes score
• A damn-near perfect set list (including "The Fly"!)

But not once in U2 3D did a flight attendant ram the business end of an umbrella into a zombie's mouth and out the back of her skull--and then click it open for effect. I had to rent Flight of the Living Dead to see a special effect of that magnitude, and I'm a better person for it.