Sorry I Crashed Your Black Panther Party

I'd heard excellent things about writer Christopher Priest's run on Black Panther back in 1998, but I didn't actually pay attention to the character until the series relaunched seven years later. I picked it up mainly because fan-favorite artist John Romita Jr. penciled the first arc, but also because writer Reginald Hudlin's take on the hero seemed intriguing.

Hudlin lost me shortly after J.R. took his leave. I forget the particulars; suffice it to say it was because of the writing, not the character.

My interest is renewed because of Marvel's Secret Invasion: Black Panther collection. At only three issues long, it's one of the shorter comic trades you'll find, but it managed to make me care about the character again.

There's something inherently right about an arrogant warrior-king who's always two steps ahead of the bad guys. This ain't your typical neurotic superhero fretting about where the money for his aunt's medication is coming from. He's an Oxford-educated physicist, an inventor, and a skilled military strategist. This cat (yeah I said it) rules an industrialized African country that's never been conquered by anyone. He's like Batman crossed with Tony Stark crossed with Dr. Doom. Who would dare mess with the guy--especially knowing he won't hesitate to run you through with his sword?

Aliens, it turns out.

Jason Aaron wrote this incredible tie-in to last year's Secret Invasion event. While the rest of the Marvel heroes had their asses handed to them by the invading Skrull armada, Black Panther formulated a plan before the green bastards even arrived in his kingdom of Wakanda.

They should've turned around as soon as they caught a glimpse of what the slack-jawed readers saw on page three.

It was a tight, action-packed read, and it left me wanting more. I'm going to order Christopher Priest's two trades from '98 for starters. (Come to think of it, that's all I can order since the rest of his run isn't collected.)

After Iron Man 2 and The Avengers, Rider would like to see Marvel Studios release a Black Panther movie. Just keep Hudlin away from the script and it could be great.

Dear Joss Whedon

Please return to Astonishing X-Men. Sooner than later. You frickin' nailed it. I can't remember the last time I loved Kitty Pryde so much.

Why Indiana Jones Is Like Current John Byrne Art

I will punch you in the throat if you're telling your friends that Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is even half as good as Raiders of the Lost Ark. You and me, we're blood enemies at that point. I slap your cheek with my gauntlet and spit on your shoe.

That being said, it's not a "terrible" movie, as one guy I know insisted over and over during conversation. I didn't walk into the theatre expecting a friggin' Mamet piece.

I was fine with the opening warehouse sequence, I laughed at Spielberg's tongue-in-cheek method of introducing Indy to the "Cold" War, I was only slightly distracted when "Janitor" from Scrubs appeared and gave Jones the third degree, and I thought the ending was entirely apropos for late-'50s-era genre movies.

What was missing was the magic.

I'm not talking a lack of CG or extended action sequences. This had those in abundance. No, I'm talking about the magic found in the details.

27 years ago when Raiders took the box office by storm, my favorite artist was a guy named John Byrne. He was the talent behind several seminal runs in comic titles like Uncanny X-Men, Superman, and Fantastic Four. He was awesome because of the attention to detail he lavished upon every panel. As the years went by, Byrne took on more and more projects and his lack of passion soon became clear on the page. He chalked it up to an "evolving" art style.


The left panel shows Byrne at his peak, circa 1982. Click on the image and compare it to the panel on the right from '99 (which I believe was the last time he drew the FF for Marvel).

This is my roundabout way of telling you that Spielberg and Lucas have drawn the latest Indiana Jones adventure with much broader strokes than they once did, and the result is a pale imitation of the globe-trotting archaeologist I came to know and love.

My favorite moments in Raiders were the little ones. Remember when the rolling boulder came down the incline and Harrison Ford had that look in his eyes that said, "Jeez!" Or when the bald, bare-knuckled Nazi hit Indy so hard his legs wobbled? What about when Belloq was monologuing like a good villain should and that fucking bug crawled into his mouth while he talked--and he didn't notice?!

Magic moments like those are entirely lacking in Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. And lingering on a portrait of Sean Connery doesn't count in my book.

I expect shabby work like that from George Lucas, but not Spielberg.*

Now if you'll excuse me, I just dug out a pile of FF comics from the '80s and they're calling my name.

* I can think of three moments in War of the Worlds alone that qualify as proof that Spielberg still knows his shit: the thrown-sammich-on-the-window scene, the swooping tracking shot in and out of the family's car as it races down the highway, and the lingering shot on the basement door when Cruise confronts Tim Robbins.

Cool Exec With a Heart of Steel

Boxter, the official mascot of Rider's Block, was very excited to hear that Iron Man made over $100 million on opening weekend. He's been running around in his little helmet since Friday.*

I was excited to see one of the best superhero adaptations ever committed to film. This is what happens when a comic book publisher has complete financial and creative control over their own properties. DC and Warner Brothers can go suck it with their deadbeat dad Superman who never throws a punch. Feh!

I compare Marvel Studios to the Cylons: they have a plan. Did anyone else sit through the credits and get chills with the promise of that epilogue? And when I heard they've got a Robert Downey Jr. cameo in the upcoming Incredible Hulk...hoo boy, it is on.

I browsed through Rotten Tomatoes for critical reaction to past Marvel franchises, and it's pretty much on track with my tastes. Up until now, I considered Spider-Man 2 to be the best superhero movie. It currently ranks at 93% with 228 reviews. Compare that with Iron Man at 94% with 160-plus reviews.

I stand by my statement that Marvel needs to tap a solid composer for soundtrack duties, but I ended up buying Iron Man's "Merchant of Death" on iTunes anyway. Boxter likes it too.**

* Which meant he had to learn to eat pet food through a straw...no mean feat for a canine.
** I think...hard to tell through the faceplate.

Free Advice for Marvel Studios

I'm reading the early reviews for Iron Man online, and while they've been overwhelmingly positive, I'm seeing one red flag in particular: the soundtrack.

Quoting Moriarty from Ain't It Cool: "I wish Hans Zimmer’s score wasn’t so cookie-cutter. We have yet to hear a truly great Marvel hero theme in any of their films."

I agree with that sentiment, but I offer a solution to the Marvel Powers That Be: give Michael Giacchino a call.

I downloaded "Roar," his Cloverfield theme, and it's the most perfect rampaging-giant-monster music you'll ever hear. It sounds like something from a Godzilla flick--only ten times better. And at a buck-ninety-eight for 12 minutes of music it's a bargain.

If you, the blog-reading Marvel Studio suit, don't get Giacchino to score your planned Captain America movie, DC will scoop him up for their Justice League flick and you'll look like tools.

Listen to the man's score for The Incredibles and tell me I'm wrong.

New Diversions on the Block

I may not have posted my unanswered questions to last week's Lost yet, but I've still got my finger on the pulse of pop culture. Here's what I was up to today, beginning at 6:00 AM.

• Finished the first four episodes of Battlestar Galactica's third season. After the jarring (and clumsy) new status quo of the previous season's finale, it now looks like the producers have patched some holes, teased upcoming conflicts, and sent Adama's ship back on its journey to ultimate hardcore-ness.* I should finish the entire season just in time for new episodes to begin airing on Sci Fi. Then I'll have to wait from week to week like any other schmuck.
• Marvel Comics has its very own fly-in-the-ointment/John McClane running around the office, dishing dirt on lame editorial decisions. His name is Marvel_B0y, and while there's a possibility he's the fictional creation of the marketing department designed to generate some buzz, I prefer to believe a punk kid has the brass balls to pull aside the curtain and reveal the soft underbelly of the Marvel offices. Unfortunately, this guy thinks he's Teflon and can't possibly be fired--which, speaking from experience, is a dangerous mindset for any blogger to adopt. It's a riveting read, especially for me. But the longer it goes on, the more I'll believe I've been had.
• I started watching Top Chef on Bravo earlier this month, but not because I wanted to see contestants with faux-hawks and tattoos crying on camera. I watched to see my buddy Dean in the block party episode. Tonight he appeared onscreen about three times. He shares his journal from the day it was filmed over here.

* Hardcore-osity?

Done in 400

Back in January I wrote about how I was done buying Spider-Man comics, and I stand by my decision.

Well, the last few issues that I pre-ordered before my decision have arrived in my monthly shipment of books this week.

I thought it was interesting to note that the final issue is numbered 551. Considering the first issue in my collection began with 151, I take it as a sign that I'm getting out at the right point.


Now I start checking sales on this title to see if I'm alone in my boycott.

Gerber Ducks into the Unknown

Before the world heard of Star Wars, and before the Disney Company would claim ownership of all pants-less water fowls, there was an ill-tempered, cigar-smoking duck and his red-headed, hairless ape girlfriend.

Comics were never the same.

Steve Gerber was a ground-breaking writer of the rarest variety: unlike most pioneers who are seldom appreciated in their own time, my 11-year-old mind knew it was witnessing something unique and deep when I first picked up Howard the Duck #1.

I was too young to pick up on the nuances of Gerber's cutting-edge satire as filtered through the eyes of a duck "trapped in a world he never made," but I knew I was reading something unlike anything being published by a mainstream comics company. For the first time I was regularly buying a comic book not featuring men in tights.

Gerber's distinctive voice was also the first to make me seek out comic books written by a specific person rather than drawn.

While I didn't read his Omega The Unknown series, I followed his career when he ventured into television and created Thundarr the Barbarian, and I still have the controversial Void Indigo graphic novel.

Steve Gerber died yesterday.

Read what his friends and other comics professionals thought about him here.

Rider's Soapbox: Spider-Man No More

For the first time in over a quarter century, yesterday I submitted a comic book order form without buying The Amazing Spider-Man. I am boycotting Marvel Comics in my own insignificant way for disrespecting me as a loyal fan of their flagship character.

I'm not going to rehash the reasons in detail, but I poked fun at them here and here.* The truth is, though, I was trying to laugh off something controversial that was gnawing away in my wooden block head like an angry termite. I'll explain by way of a hypothetical question.

Lost fans: Would you still watch if your favorite character never evolved? Would the show be nearly as good if Jack never moved beyond his whiny bitch phase or Sawyer never put on glasses and read a book? Or are you just about the mythology?

Whatever you might think of comic books as a storytelling medium, the Marvel ones have always been about change and growth. Peter Parker was 15 when he was bitten by a radioactive spider in 1962, and 28 issues later he graduated high school. Meanwhile, over in the DC Universe, Clark Kent hadn't changed his station in life since 1938.

Since I started reading Spidey's adventures (beginning with the issue to the left), I saw Peter finish college, go to graduate school, get married, watch a best friend die, lose a baby daughter, and change his vocation to high school teacher. And just before I officially came onboard, the love of his life was murdered. Ramifications of these events have been felt throughout the character's history.

Marvel Comics have always been grounded in reality. They've got Manhattan instead of Metropolis. They've got flawed heroes who are regarded with suspicion instead of legends in their own time. That's key when you want fictional characters to be relatable to their readers. Growing up, I identified more with a skinny loser than a chiseled alien from another planet who was perfect in every way.

Joe Quesada, editor-in-chief of Marvel, made the decision to hit the reset button on Spider-Man's life. He says he did it because it's good for the character. He says no one wants to read about a married superhero--but he also says no one wants to read about a divorced hero, either. Because, I guess, we don't live in a country where 50% of marriages fail and no one would relate.

So in a line of comics where science was responsible for the origins of its most popular characters, Quesada employed magic as the deus ex machina which nullified most of Peter's significant character development. That's like the Wachowskis explaining that Neo is actually a jolly leprechaun in The Matrix.

I was ten when I first picked up a Spidey comic, and I matured with the character as I grew up. I understood the pain of loved ones dying and the joy of getting married and the uncertainty of changing careers.

But this new Peter Parker is not the Peter Parker I grew up with. He might look the same and he still "does whatever a spider can," but I don't want to start over with him. I already did that eight years ago when Ultimate Spider-Man relaunched the character for the new millennium. It's implicit that this new Peter is going to remain emotionally retarded and never mature. That's just not true to the character as he was presented by Stan Lee.

The Spidey I knew has been de-evolved to appeal to a younger generation--and there's nothing wrong with that--but there are several other titles featuring a younger Spidey minus the "baggage," so it's not like Marvel didn't have alternatives for new readers. Besides, I'm a stalwart fan who already saw Peter's coffee shop years. I mean Friends is a funny show and all, but Pete's done that and been there and now he's sentenced to reruns.

It was a bad call for the right reasons, but the execution was insulting. I wiped Quesada's spit from my face after reading that last issue. He's like a father who says, "We're moving and it'll be a Good Thing," then you get to the new place but your bedroom is smaller than your old one.

"Hold on, pally" Quesada/Dad says, clapping you on the back, "we can add to it."

Fuck you, Dad. It still smells funny here.

So I'm done with The Amazing Spider-Man for now. Marvel won't get the additional nine bucks a month out of me. I'll be back for the issue where Peter and MJ shower together and laugh about the bad dream that never happened.

Then they can get divorced and start a brand new day.

* That first post generated more traffic here than anything else I've done, even before it was linked to by one of the most popular comics-related blogs on the Interweb.

Spidey, We Hardly Knew Ye

In their 20th attempt to do more damage control to the erupting controversy over Peter Parker's struck-from-the-record marriage to Mary Jane, Marvel Comics released this image from next week's issue of The Amazing Spider-Man.

Things have gotten way nuttier. I don't think this will placate the fans one bit.


Spider-Man fans, check out my other posts from the last week here and here. If you comment and have a blog, be sure to include the URL so I can visit. Thanks for dropping by the Block!

Spider-Man Drives Traffic to The Block

All I did was blog about the controversial decision by Marvel Comics to magically erase a marriage,* and the next thing I knew it got mentioned on a popular comic book blog.

Now I'm taking hundreds of hits from all over the world, including some from the Marvel offices (the editor-in-chief, judging by the size of the monitor).

Well, bend over, Abigail Mae, 'cause I'm gonna ride this for all it's worth.

I thought I'd add one quote to Peter David's list of what Mary Jane whispered to the demon Mephisto before he nullified her marriage to Peter Parker.

"If Peter starts dating again within a month, give him cancer of the nutsack."

Uh oh...


Bookmark my blog, Spidey fans!

* A common dream of married men and women the world over. Haw haw haw.

MJ's Available, Guys!

After her marriage to Peter Parker was magically undone last week--literally by supernatural forces--Mary Jane Watson was seen leaving a surprise party* miserable and alone.


Why the long face? Maybe it had something to do with Peter hitting on a potential new love interest a mere seven pages after regaining his bachelor status.

Hours later, a search of The New York Times' personals yielded this ad:


* A party thrown for friend Harry Osborn, who was returned from the dead as part of a package deal with the devil. Confused? Welcome to the shared nightmare of tens of thousands of outraged Marvel Comics fans.

Excerpt from Powers: Cosmic

Brian Michael Bendis has written the best Powers story arc so far. "Cosmic," the tenth trade collection, features on-stage monologues as narrative framing devices between action scenes. This piece of dialogue has stuck with me for several days after reading it:

"My sister had a baby...and I was thinking, this niece of mine...she has nothing left to learn about human beings other than how horribly disappointing they can and will be. I'm saying: right now, all people in the eyes of a two year old are equally fine. All she has left to learn is they are not!"

A Coward Takes Refuge on The Block

Criminal: Coward: from Icon/Marvel. Written by Ed Brubaker, art by Sean Phillips.


Baggage going in: I've been a fan of writer Ed Brubaker for a while--15 years, to be exact, ever since reading his serialized "An Accidental Death" story. The man is at his best when writing about the dark side of human nature. I also enjoy what he's been doing on Captain America (he was the guy who killed him off) and The Immortal Iron Fist. I don't purchase a lot of crime comics, however, because they rarely hold my attention.


You know you're reading the right comic when: The main character, Leo, starts planning a diamond heist with a pair of crooked cops. You get an idea of how canny this dude really is, and you begin to root for a career criminal who lives by his own set of rules.


I have ADD--boil it down™: A meticulous professional and his motley crew are recruited for a score on a police evidence van that escalates into something more dangerous than they bargained for...the characters are beautifully written and you care about every flawed one of them, especially the junkie/mentor Ivan...Sean Phillips' art is raw and bold and perfect for this story...the "Franz Kafka, Private Eye" comic strip felt unnecessary...this is not a feel-good story for readers who want a "freeze frame as they laugh" ending--this is about damaged souls from south of the law who know where they're headed...if it was a movie it would've been directed by John Frankenheimer or William Friedkin.


Final word: Pure, uncut crime comic smack you'll want to shoot up with a rusty syringe.

Hardcore rating: 4 out of 5 "Hardcore, Chucks"