As Long As You're Cleaning House, MTV...

Yesterday MTV announced that Total Request Live is being canceled.

I don't care. Neither should you. I only bring it up to ask the following:

Did you know John Norris still works at MTV? No. For real.

I was reading my new favorite pop culture blog,* and the writer skewered Norris for his "young person" fashion sense at the VMA Awards.

The post was funny with a bitter aftertaste of friggin' sad.

I'll put it into perspective.

Back in 2001 I worked for Best Buy. Many of my coworkers were high school kids. I was a supervisor overseeing three departments lousy with 'em.

Because I was older, because I was married, because I had a mortgage, a few of them regularly referred to me as "Old Man."

Fine. I got it. My scalp had sprouted, maybe, two gray hairs at the time. But I had full control over my bowels and I could still chew solid food. Tragically, neither are true today.

But despite the fact that I never treated these kids like kids, and even though I have the maturity of a 17-year-old, my forehead was stamped with Methuselah. (It probably started the day I pointed out how great a Beatles song was, and was told, "That's grandma music.") **

Now picture John Norris. Born in 1959 and working for a network whose demographic consists of 12-34 year-olds (socially retarded 34-year-olds, most likely). His Logan's Run palm crystal turned black almost three decades ago, yet he's still tottering down the halls of MTV, weeping over the demise of the show that belched out Carson Daly.

I wonder... Does he carry a notebook where he logs the new slang uttered by interns and skateboarding video directors? How seriously did he consider an eyebrow stud? Does he have an inside man at Buckle who gives him a heads-up on the latest Peruvian beanies and argyle hoodies?

There's a lesson here, folks.

Know when it's time to move on.

And Carson Daly is still more of a tool than John Norris.

* Thanks for the blog tip, McGone.
** In my defense, I was still considered young enough and/or cool enough to be invited to many parties. In some cases I was threated with bodily harm if I failed to appear. Not caring to reenact the party scene from Uncle Buck, I took my chances and stayed home.