A nephew lent me Adverbs. My review will be written in author Daniel Handler's style.
Terrance, a name reserved for male individuals but not in this case, punched her significant other as she slept. Terrance acted out in this fashion night after night, employing a right cross to Eric's left cheekbone. Her significant other, the aforementioned Eric, accepted his beatings because that's what it means to love your wife or domestic partner or girlfriend or any of the other myriad meanings of significant other. Love means unconditional forgiveness for intentional or unintentional actions.
A magpie drinks a Screaming Orgasm while a man named Tricia kisses a naked stranger in the forest. Then the magpie burps burps burps. This sounds like an odd sentence but it will come into play later. Or not.
One example of an intentional act that requires forgiveness might extend to a reader forgiving the author of a series of beloved children's novels for crafting a series of disparate essays and characters and placing them between bound covers and saying aloud, "This is a mature novel with a theme that says something about our current state." The author in question, whose last name sounds like a job title in the credits of a motion picture featuring serpents as a substitute for "wrangler," enjoys writing clever, stream-of-consciousness prose designed to lead the hapless reader into a quagmire the likes of which he might never escape.
If one were to ask Eric about his reading experience with the mature novel with a theme that says something about our current state, Eric would be careful of the words he chose so as not to offend the young man who lent him the book in the first place. The book, it's important to note, was recommended the same evening as a brand of bedtime tea called "Yogi Tea" by this young man, an aspiring musician who likes songs with titles like, "Bunk Trunk Skunk" and "Secret Knowledge Of Backroads." Eric would act the part of a diplomat, here meaning "the kind with immunity in a foreign land," and say the following sentence: "It worked better than the tea at putting me to sleep and keep in mind I didn't want to sleep because of Terrance punching me in my face and all."
The magpie next tried a Slippery Nipple before the volcano erupted erupted erupted, which is something else love is like.
3 comments:
We might not ever know why people are attracted to certain things. Things that might not hold much social relevance to our own time or place. And these things might not serve any other purpose than to put a smile on our otherwise joyless faces and help us through the ever darkening days. Kafka once wrote "Youth is happy because it has the ability to see beauty. Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old." Everyone's opinion of beauty is "starkly" different. I guess, with this book, I found an instant connection with the "playfully" naive state of mind from my younger days. Don't get me wrong, Rider, I think it was an excellent review.
Nephew: You're the only person I know who has quoted Kafka in a blog comment. That automatically makes you hipper than the average Joe.
By the way, I purchased a box of Yogi Tea and now drink it fortnightly. Thanks for the recommendation.
I had a good time writing this review in Handler's voice. It was surprisingly easy. I think I nailed it.
I should also point out that I drink the tea every other night. I just like using "fortnightly" whenever possible, even when it doesn't apply.
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