Material for McGone Tell-All Grows

Oh, I've got McGone right where I want him.

From how he really feels about his blog partner Fernando, to how he was once so infuriated by a bobble-headed boss* he called his coworkers "fucktards" to their faces, I've got almost everything I need to start work on his unauthorized biography.

Check out the sheer number of emails we've exchanged over the years.


All I need is an interview with The Girl and I've got the makings of a best-seller.

* Actual nickname: The Baroness Magpie von Retardenhauer. A woman who instilled such venom in McGone (and others) that he had to restrain the urge to "rip off her arms just so [he] would have something to beat her into a coma with."

The Chinese Love Three-Ways

Since its release on DVD a few months back, Google searches for "Beowulf" have been the number one reason surfers have visited Rider's Block. Specifically this post. I'd venture a guess and say about 1,000 hits have come from that post alone.

Needless to say, I was thrilled to see a new search phrase finally bump the oft-nude CG character out of the top spot, if only temporarily.


From Guadalajara to Honolulu to Shanghai, folks want to know about "three-ways." I'm the number two search at this point, though there's probably no chance of overtaking Urban Dictionary's definition of the phrase.

My step has additional spring to it this morning. Mom would be proud.

Doesn't Anyone Reference Kolchak Anymore?

"What's this?" you mutter. "An unprecedented three posts in one day? Rider must be mainlining Red Bull."

Nope. Just Chips Ahoy and skim milk.*

Tonight I felt the need to share a new game called "Can You Spot the Pattern?"

The following are three blurbs from three different ads for new upcoming titles from Digital Webbing. I found them in a single comic book. They have one thing in common.

Can you spot the pattern?


I know there's an X-Files movie being released soon, but aren't these pitches so ten years ago? They might as well say, "It's like Saving Private Ryan if Ryan wore a cape and saved other people," or, "It's like Armageddon if Affleck could deflect the asteroid with a single punch."

Ah, 1998. I'm feeling nostalgic for Something About Mary. Remember the semen in her hair? Good times.

* Besides, I prefer Full Throttle.

Free Advice for Marvel Studios

I'm reading the early reviews for Iron Man online, and while they've been overwhelmingly positive, I'm seeing one red flag in particular: the soundtrack.

Quoting Moriarty from Ain't It Cool: "I wish Hans Zimmer’s score wasn’t so cookie-cutter. We have yet to hear a truly great Marvel hero theme in any of their films."

I agree with that sentiment, but I offer a solution to the Marvel Powers That Be: give Michael Giacchino a call.

I downloaded "Roar," his Cloverfield theme, and it's the most perfect rampaging-giant-monster music you'll ever hear. It sounds like something from a Godzilla flick--only ten times better. And at a buck-ninety-eight for 12 minutes of music it's a bargain.

If you, the blog-reading Marvel Studio suit, don't get Giacchino to score your planned Captain America movie, DC will scoop him up for their Justice League flick and you'll look like tools.

Listen to the man's score for The Incredibles and tell me I'm wrong.

Addendum to Devil's Three-Way

Last night's How I Met Your Mother briefly mentioned the Bro Handbook and its rules regarding a "devil's three-way."*

Perhaps I'm referencing an older edition, but while Barney was 100% correct about the rule prohibiting eye contact between male participants, he left out two crucial addendum.

• Guys must not touch, except when motivated to high-five or knuckle bump.

• Any three-ways involving Stephen Baldwin are discouraged at all costs.

* Two guys.