It's No Leg Lamp but It's Certainly a Major Award

Rider's Block has been recognized for excellence in bloggery--by an esteemed physician, no less!

Dr Zibbs over at That Blue Yak seems to think my wooden block head is a hoot. Sure, my physical malady caused me extreme suffering throughout childhood and the taunts of neighborhood bullies sent me running to my room in tears many times, but hey, what's more American than mocking the deformities of others? I guess that's how they roll in West Chester, PA. Why not punch a dwarf in his oversized, squishy noggin, Zibbs, you prick! Trip a cripple with leg braces and blog about how funny it was to watch his crutches flail about!

You think my having a cube-head was easy on my mom? Think again! She never really loved me. She never sang "Mockingbird" to me the way she used to when I was in utero and life still held such promise.

When I was seven my father told me, "Your goddamned head ruined everything! Just look at how your mother walks now!" Then he went back to mainlining Dewar's and smoking Salems to the filter, stubbing them out on my cranium. I didn't mind because it didn't hurt and he was giving me attention, but still...

...Er, where was I?

Zibbs has given me the virtual Arte Y Pico Award. I don't know what that means, I just know I've had a craving for salsa since I followed the link last night. He also tapped me for a meme, which I don't appreciate at all. I'm supposed to recognize five other blogs deserving of the Arte Y Pico.

Look at my blogroll, Zibbs. Does it look like I even know five other bloggers? You may be the blogging equivalent of the hot Dairy Queen babe in a hick town, but I don't sleep around with just any blogger who rolls past me in an El Camino with neon underlighting and three bucks for a Dilly Bar.

That said, here's my four, plus one:

1. A Crown of Thistles. MJenks may be the coolest chemist since Bryan Cranston on Breaking Bad--and he's probably in his underwear even more. He's written novels and almost had them published. Every other post has a Leelee Sobieski picture. Also, I contributed to his coolness by making him my Padawan learner on the finer points of mouseover text. He has graciously contributed to my sister blog Calling the Karma Police.

2. Valerie's Life 2.0. She's the Lucy van Pelt to my Charlie Brown. Valerie seems to hate me, always posting about how bad I smell or how I look like Sasquatch. She even drew herself kicking my ass once. What could I have done to inspire such venom? What does it mean when someone can't stop blogging about you? All I know is I'm too smart to run for any football she's holding, but she can't say the same. That girl is T-R-O-U-B-L-E(-D).

3. I, Splotchy. I'm not sure why I include him. He rarely posts.

4. josh pincus is crying. Why is J.P. crying? I can't speak for him but he makes me weep from looking at all his beautiful drawrings. His blog's got me reaching for more Kleenex than a teenaged boy watching The Girls Next Door. Plus you learn about the folks he sketches. Here, absorb a few factoids about Henry Rollins.

And here's my anti-award:

5. Distant Authority Figure. This is a dude (improbably) named Hal Haroldson. He's a funny enough guy, granted, but I must've done something to piss him off. He's always ragging on me whenever Valerie posts about how she can't get enough of me (which is always). Here's something he wrote about Amelia Earhart and Hitler, and how folks in hospitals would feel better after seeing fake news. For the record, I will punch his lights out if I ever meet him.

I apologize in advance to the above "winners," but I'm obligated to turn this beautiful awards ceremony into a meme.

Should you choose to accept this award, here's the fine print:

1) Pick 5 blogs that you think deserve this award for their creativity, design, interesting material, and also for contributing to the blogging community, no matter what language.

2) Each award has to have the name of the author and also a link to his or her blog to be visited by everyone.

3) Each award winner has to show the award and put the name and link to the blog that has given her or him the award itself.

4) Award-winner and the one who has given the prize have to show the link of “Arte y Pico” blog, so everyone will know the origin of this award which is here: Arte y Pico.


Thanks you for the award, Dr Zibbs. It weighs nothing at all. Like my mother's seething hatred of my sharp-edged head, I won't forget this.
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