Texted Movie Reviews™ is a regular feature wherein Rider posts SMS messages he received on his BlockBerry from friends or family members about current movies.The following is Jeremy W.'s review of
Wanted.
Message #1:
Wanted was awesome. No nudity.
Message #2:
Movie was awesome! GREAT kills
Day 35 on the road - Jebus help me.
After leaving Target two days ago, now we're staying in an
Arby's.
Chas, the 16-year-old store manager, lets us sleep in a booth because "the corporate douches haven't promoted me to district after five goddamn months. Besides, what are they gonna do
--fire me? Feel free to use the laptop, even for porn. I've got shit bookmarked."
His assistant manager Gladys, a 43-year-old mother of six, brings us leftover Bacon Beef 'n Cheddars just before she leaves for the night. I have managed to keep them down, but just
barely.
This morning the Mordor County Health Inspector walked in as I was bathing Boxter in the prep area sink. He watched quietly, then informed me that I "missed a spot." He gave the restaurant a pass in exchange for one of my Chuck Taylors. When I handed it over, he explained that he met Ellen Page at a Katy Perry concert and she autographed his right shoe. He keeps it on a shelf at home and needed a replacement.
Chas was pissed at me, though. "You shouln'ta
done that, bro!
Let 'im close us down! I needed a vacation!"
I replied that it could have turned into a permanent vacation.
"Dude-man, haven't you been listening?
Nobody gets fired from Arby's! Joe-Ray the maintenance guy
strangled the last store manager, and I just gave him a fi'ty-cent raise!"
I don't think I'll be staying here much longer.
Gotta go. Gladys just told me Boxter pooped in the walk-in.
