Stephanie Enters The Dead Zone

My friend Michelle was eligible to upgrade her phone, so I went with her to a cellular store. When the sales guy finished activating her expensive touchscreen device, Meesh was about to toss her old one in a donation box. Then she said to me, "Do you want it?"

The sales guy's eyes got really hungry. That's the only word to describe it. Hungry. He turned into Fat Bastard from that movie. He wanted to sign me up for a contract so bad he drooled a little. He wanted my money in his belly.

I haven't owned a cell phone before. Up until this past March I had no one to call. That's changed. So I was interested except...no credit rating.

He pitched a prepaid option, but it was more expensive than just adding a line to Meesh's brother's account. So that's what we did.

I offered to pay her the ten bucks a month, but she said not to worry about it. Except I don't like owing people. We made a deal instead: when I'm working she gets free coffees.

I love the phone. It's a "Chocolate." I'm loading some Kaki King tunes on it right now. I found a Heath Ledger Joker jpeg online for the wallpaper. (It's in my Photobucket album here.)

Anyways, I'm happy because now I can blog from my phone* and Meesh is happy because when she's driving I'm the "dexter" (designated texter).

The sales guy was happy because we fed him commission. He burped a little.

* I found out you can put an email address in your contacts, so you can send a text to your blog (under the Settings tab and Email option) which will publish as a post. SMS only allows 160 characters max, though, so it'd be a short entry. But still.

14 Joys and a Will to Be Merry*

I'm dancing around the Block like fool today. I finally found a song that Apple hadn't added to the iTunes Store since its launch in 2003: "Sentimental Lady" by former Fleetwood Mac member Bob Welch.

Sure, iTunes offered knockoff remakes by Welch, which elicited such customer reviews as "DO NOT BUY!!! These are not the original tracks, this is CRAP!" and "I really love Bob Welch, but seriously, the remake of 'Sentimental Lady' really blows."

The reviews were so hostile that Welch himself apparently posted a long retort, claiming, "The reason I did these re-records is because the ORIGINAL versions are inferior." He explains that the old music was "highly compressed" and filtered poorly, and that the new stuff has "full bandwidth dynamic range" and was "meticulously" recorded. Also his voice "finally sounds the way [he] always wanted it to."

It was all very George Lucas circa 1997.

Two things Bob Welch needs to know: 1) "Sentimental Lady," the original version, was an awesome song from my childhood I've wanted on my iPod for a long time. I have patiently checked on its iTunes status several times a year for five years. My current play count an hour after download is already at three.

And 2) Bob Welch looks like Jame Gumb.

* Maybe the lyric should be "a will to be Mary"?

Free Advice for Marvel Studios

I'm reading the early reviews for Iron Man online, and while they've been overwhelmingly positive, I'm seeing one red flag in particular: the soundtrack.

Quoting Moriarty from Ain't It Cool: "I wish Hans Zimmer’s score wasn’t so cookie-cutter. We have yet to hear a truly great Marvel hero theme in any of their films."

I agree with that sentiment, but I offer a solution to the Marvel Powers That Be: give Michael Giacchino a call.

I downloaded "Roar," his Cloverfield theme, and it's the most perfect rampaging-giant-monster music you'll ever hear. It sounds like something from a Godzilla flick--only ten times better. And at a buck-ninety-eight for 12 minutes of music it's a bargain.

If you, the blog-reading Marvel Studio suit, don't get Giacchino to score your planned Captain America movie, DC will scoop him up for their Justice League flick and you'll look like tools.

Listen to the man's score for The Incredibles and tell me I'm wrong.

Almost a Stones Fan

I hadn't been born yet when the Rolling Stones started their career. They'd already begun claiming their place in rock history before I came along. Even though I grew up listening to their hits--which were unavoidable during my childhood--I've never been a fan.

Now I'm wondering if I'm missing something. All 'cuz of Scorcese and iTunes.

I'm hearing great things about Shine a Light. After my 3D experience with U2's concert film, I feel like seeing more movies in that vein. What's the downside of Martin friggin' Scorcese shooting footage of the Stones playing some of their greatest hits? I don't necessarily want to get up in Mick's craggy face as he dances around like the old prick from Six Flags, but there is something to say about appreciating true showmanship up close.

Then there's the fact that when I realized I didn't have any Stones music on my iPod, I downloaded four of my favorites: *

1. "Gimme Shelter"
2. "Undercover (Of The Night)"
3. "Under My Thumb"
4. "Almost Hear You Sigh"

If you have credit in your iTunes account and you're looking for a recommendation, check out "Almost Hear You Sigh." I've listened to it over and over the last few days and I'd forgotten how much I loved that song back in 1989. Based on that single alone, I'm compelled to go back and explore some of their lesser known tracks.

Any recommendations that might help me appreciate them more? List them in the comments.

* None of my favorites are in Shine a Light's set list, unfortunately.

Take Two Podcasts and Call Me in the Morning

The hellish virus I caught after partying too hard at my dual Raul Castro election/Academy Awards party is still having its way with me. It's a persistent little bugger, but I'm finally gaining the upper hand. I hope to be back to quality pop culture commentary soon.

With all your disposable time, consider checking out these podcasts I listen to and recommend.


1. Comic Geek Speak: Two to eight friends in Reading, Pennsylvania who have been regularly discussing comics for 400 shows. Three new episodes a week.

2. KCRW's The Treatment: Weekly cinema interview show from Santa Monica, featuring an insightful host named Elvis who fulfills NPR's quota of saying "sort of" every other sentence he utters.

3. Mac OS Ken: I am an Apple user and I get my daily Mac news from a rockin' dude named Ken Ray in the San Francisco Bay area.

4. The Official LOST podcast: I don't bother with the shows cobbled together by fans. I get answers right from producers Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof. Episodes are usually posted the day after a new TV installment airs, and questions from viewers are answered with humor.

5. The Onion Radio News: One-minute satirical news stories that make me laugh out loud. Listen to 'em five at a time.

6. Quiet! Panelologists At Work: Two blokes from across the pond making fun of mainstream comic books in thick accents that may confuse the average Yank listener. You're lucky to get one new show a month, but it's worth the wait.

7. The Ricky Gervais Show: The show started out free, now you have to pay for it. I buy 'em by the complete season. Don't listen if you don't appreciate Gervais' laughter.

8. This American Life: New episodes are available the day after they air on NPR, and they're free for the week. When will the Showtime series be available on Netflix? Borders has been selling it for months.

9. This Week in Tech: I get my weekly dose of tech news and speculation from Leo Laporte and his rotating panel of geeks.

10. USA Today's Pop Candy: I read Whitney's blog and also listen to her in this weekly interview/new music show.

11. X-Play's Daily Video Podcast: Video games cost too damn much to just buy without listening to someone's opinion on new releases. I enjoy Adam and Morgan's humorous reviews from their daily show on G4.

Does Anyone Watch the Grammys?

Another year and another awards ceremony I won't be watching.

Are any of the nominees and/or performers known for anything other than controversy? Does anyone remember when the recording industry was about music and relevance? (This is the post where I come off sounding like a poor man's Lester Bangs.)

I was looking at the top ten songs on iTunes, and the only artist I recognized as someone known strictly for his music was Tom Petty. The rest are names I wish I didn't know or couldn't care less about.

Here's my take on recording artists' lame names.

• A name that sounds stolen from an alien character in any given Alan Dean Foster sci-fi novel
• A stage name seemingly made up by the musician for their 5th grade talent show that they never tried to improve
• First choice on an uncreative parent's short list; second choice: Kilometery
• Estranged brother of the Kingston Trio making it under his own steam; an Andy Gibb for the 21st century
• Perfect name given by the parents of the decade