Something about Jay Mohr has always bugged me--but I can't quite pin it down.You're familiar with Mohr, right? He's the star of CBS' Gary Unmarried, and achieved Hollywood C-list status in 1997 as Jerry Maguire's douchebag boss "Bob Sugar."
Me, I always think of him as the marginal talent from SNL who did the Walken impression. I refuse to give him more credit than that.
(It's possible something about his hair or his grin reminds me of Bad Things From My Childhood. I don't want to dwell on his appearance any further than acknowledging that Mohr possesses the demeanor of Polish bullies from my suburban Chicago neighborhood who smirked the same way while punching my ballsack.)
Regardless, I now have an additional reason to dismiss this bland, mildly irritating celebutard.
A few weeks ago he flew his true limp-dick colors by legally changing his name.
Have you ever known a guy who took his wife's name? A "man" so deluded he metaphorically spit on his family's heritage, cut his crank off, put it in a locked box, and handed the key to his controlling bride? Is there any reason to ever do that...unless your surname was "Hitler"?
To his credit, Mohr didn't quite do that, either--although he did take the last name of his wife, Nikki Cox, and became Jon Ferguson Cox Mohr.
He didn't even have the stones of a Johnny Depp tattooing "Winona Forever" on his skin. His grand, sweeping, romantic statement was to file paperwork to add three letters to a full name he'll never actually say out loud except at Cox family gatherings and only then to make women in attendance moan, "Aaaww."
You might argue my point and say, "That's a smart move: if they ever divorce he can just change it back. Ink is forever."
That's a perfectly valid point. But a real man shouldn't take his wife's name at all.
Remember when Nikki Cox was going out with Bobcat Goldthwait? Can you imagine what he'd say at the suggestion he take her name? He'd let out a spastic shriek and say, "Fffuck n-no!"
In summary, I respect Bobcat more than Cox Mohr.
2 comments:
I agree. He's annoying.
You're giving him too much credit. Douchebag should be known, henceforth, Mohr Cox. See how that works?
Anyway, I'm still confused as to how this talking turd still finds gainful employment. AND gets to stick his unfunny pecker inside Nikki Cox. Yeah, Bobcat's been in there, too, but that's beside the point. Someone with the mental facilities and comedic stylings of a cinder block shouldn't continually be bringing in a nice pay check and tagging a busty redhead like her.
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